Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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