We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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