He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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