i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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