I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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