The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize