I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize