i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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