i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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