walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
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I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
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We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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