My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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