I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize