I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize