My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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