Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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