I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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