I need help removing her.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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