I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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