So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize