Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize