now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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