I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize