Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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