I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize