Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize