Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.

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(325): View more from Texas

I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.

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(713): View more from Texas

I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(623): View more from Arizona

By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.

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(303): View more from Colorado

accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...

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(865): View more from Tennessee

He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror

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(206): View more from Washington

Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask

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(727): View more from Florida

His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.

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