; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize