Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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