You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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