Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Randomize