dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
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He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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