haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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