Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
It's just like the Real World with babies
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize