You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Come share oat with me in your robe
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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