You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize