On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I have demons in me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Randomize