Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
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I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
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When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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