she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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