I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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