What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize