I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I woke up under a house in Key West
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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