I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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