I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize