It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize