I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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