Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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