so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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