Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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