Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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