Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
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It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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